sex and low back pain
face it, sooner or later, most people will develop some type of low back
pain, even if it is temporary. This will have a significant impact on
your ability to have a satisfying sexual relationship. We all know the
phrase "honey, not tonight, I've got a headache." Well, back pain can
be equally incapacitating, and no one can feel it but you. Often back
pain will interfere with one's job as well as interpersonal relationships.
Needless to say, this takes a toll on one's feeling of self worth, and when
one adds to this the potential impact on a sexual relationship, and possibly
one's own feeling of masculinity or femininity, the problem is compounded.
is a problem which will affect people of all ages and genders. Don't
think it is a problem just of the elderly. Younger people may develop
these problems as well. It is important not to ignore the feelings but
to discuss them. Left unaddressed, festering frustrations will
develop, and more difficult problems will arise.
Try to emphasize the non physical aspects of the
relationship. Talking, communicating, hugging, kissing, massaging are
all pain free, and can take away much of the emotional and physical stress
When attempting the physical aspects of the
relationship, try to use a firm surface. Ease into sex gradually.
is not necessary to accomplish intercourse for a couple to experience a
gratifying relationship. Talk about things, and find a comfortable
position. Lying flat on one's back puts strain on the lumbar spine.
Instead, try a pillow under the knees, keeping the legs slightly bent.
This will take some of the pressure off the low back. A small roll
under the curve of the lumbar spine may also be of benefit. If one is
on their side, support the upper knee with a pillow to keep strain off the
Most of the positions of lying, kneeling, and sitting
can be reasonably accomplished without risking back injury, if done
carefully, paying attention to any pains or strains which develop. The
body doesn't lie, and if the position is awkward, your body will tell you.
Listen to your body!!
summary, don't feel guilty. Do communicate with your partner.
Don't be afraid to try different positions. Do use pillows and
cushions as needed, and have an ample supply ready before going into the
bedroom. Don't use a soft surface such as a sofa. Do emphasize
the non physical aspects of the relationship. Do call your doctor if
pain persists or worsens.
After surgery on the lumbar spine, you may be in pain
for a number of days or weeks, depending upon the nature of the operation.
Refrain from sex until the pain improves. Even then, use moderation
and good judgement. Ask your doctor about what you can and can't do.
The first few weeks of recovery from a back operation are often the most
important, in shaping the eventual surgical outcome.